2003-07-31

no mo' hosiery

I've been so good. I'm really a good person. not a bad person. not intentionally evil. or malicious. I haven't stalked for weeks. I barely can remember how long since I signed onto manfriend's accounts. not even Friendster. that's good, right?

but I want to.

I just want to peek. sure, I know that it's inviting worry and not a healthy (not to mention particularly fair) behavior for a boyfriend to exhibit. there's no reason for me to do so. no need to control him. suspect him. catch him. judge and punish him.

things have been going great. so great that I haven't been writing about it. we've even navigated a night out where some drunken German chatted him up and pawed on him, then tried to kiss either one of us. I wasn't threatened, and wanted to let him say, "No, you creepy German extolling the virtues of Orange County and life in Irvine!" (next time, I'll intervene, and he's OK with that.)

honestly, life is tremendous. cuddles are frequent. sex is not an issue, and when it occurs, rather pleasant. no conflicts. no drama. nothing boring. lots of communication. no sense of doing more than he is. sharing life. just that. and no stalking. that helps make life nicey-nice.

so, I'll try to keep it so. figure out how to get through these temporary feelings that feed on insecurity and jealousy. focus on the positive. it's not that hard. ahh, breathe.

well, I guess it's time to get back to work. I've spent enough time spewing here. for those who were keeping track, I finally sent in that overdue traffic report. now, it's time for other overdue projects. checking off the checklist. one by one.

and no stalking.

earlier - later