2004-05-13

shame ahoy!

just changed the Normal template on this computer so my home writing is as simple as opening up the computer. Poopie is sitting next to me searching through an atlas for the various entities that separate India from itself (Bhutan, Nepal, etc.). you learn something new every day. now, he�s suggesting that I swim to Tasmania if/when I visit Melbourne. Poopie, who now wants to be referred to as Smelly, is reading over my shoulder.

over night, I charged this computer�s cylindrical batteries. I never got around to writing SN an apology yesterday. I missed her pirate-themed birthday party almost two weeks ago, the weekend that I went to Stanford and our team�s debut. no phone call. no email. just MIA me. since I�m writing, I may as well type up a draft here:

I�m sorry. I�m sorry for missing your 30th birthday. I�m sorry for not calling to explain. I didn�t take the invitation home from work, so I didn�t have P�s number where I assume you were staying. (I had planned on swinging by CBI to get it on my way to your party.) I�m sorry for not leaving a message for you in Boston for your return or over the past 12 days. I�m sorry for not emailing. I�m sorry I�ve been a really crappy friend.

heck, I am so not in the mood to write this. it just feels cowardly to not call her. but that fear is balanced with shame. it was an oversight that I didn�t go to her party. my fault nonetheless. after practice that morning, we went straight from breakfast to synchro nationals. by the time I returned to the City, her party was well under way, and I was tired and hungry and fighting a sore throat. I didn�t remember her event until 10 that night, as I was driving raffle prizes to a swim fundraiser that my raw and phlegm-my gullet would prevent me from attending. then, the yoga teacher at work asked me about the party the next day because—guess what?—she�s neighbors with the women who hosted the darn thing. heck, it does no good to type it in here.

what�s odd/ironic/fitting is the gift I got for her is a correspondence kit, a little mail-able book in which to write to one another. yet, of course, I wouldn�t want to write any of this in there �cause I don�t want to record any of this� just happy-happy friend stuff. reason #875 call her. which I�ll do tomorrow, since she�s on the East Coast.

earlier - later