2004-05-20

en garde!

�In order to be a writer, you need to write,� KT observed today. damn her. she�s so right. the idea of being a writer (like the idea of being a actor/artist/academic/activist/athlete) requires work before recognition. I�ve been good about writing about writing or writing about my thoughts, but have yet to begin writing a piece of Writing. granted, I know that�s rather essentialist and judgmental (not very postmodern or experimental) to relegate valid Writing to that honed with craft and an intention or a gesture toward Art. Fiction. Narrative. Manuscript. a Piece.

the past couple of months I�ve been flexing my creative muscles, trying to get my literary sea legs. it�s been about teaching the creative nerves how to fire and spark within this medium. therapeutic, for sure. self-obsessed and raw. for these reasons alone, it�s good that I don�t have any readers. I haven�t said anything of worth. yet. going through the motions and talking about the something that I have yet to begin. will hindsight bring chuckles and a sympathetic wag of the head for the neophyte scribe?

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back, after writing a list of six essay/short story ideas, a few character sketch treatments and story structures. but I don�t want to start on any of them. it�s 9:37, and manfriend is falling asleep next to me as �dunt-dunt� returns from commercial. this is not an approximation of caf� culture creation. not that context causes creativity; it�s just since reading Julie Otsuka�s piece about her past eight years. I�m not the blogger whose entry referred me to her. further proof of my romanticizing the idea of being a writer and a lack of discipline.

Mistake #1: I can�t do this in front of the TV. time management needed to balance cooking, eating, relaxing and couch cuddle-time. Mistake #2: distracting myself with diaryland. sorry. better to start doing my Writing and have blogging be the intermission. Mistake #3: well, there isn�t a third mistake. things just seem better in three�s in writing. the only possible fault I find is having waited so long start this project.

time to start. this weekend? I find myself thinking I should start the Artist�s Way or the Barb Sherr book. which I can do, but that should never be in lieu of my first stabs.

earlier - later