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profile ------------------------------------ no day but.. - 2005-11-23from a bus in Poland - 2005-11-02 breaking the silence - 2005-11-02 plugged back in - 2005-08-18 flusteration - 2005-07-11 ------------------------------------ a not that ugly design
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2004-08-20boy, oh boihello, my receptacle for words and such. I have nothing to put into you today. no stress to work out. no complaints to air. nothing planned to write. I just wanted to say hi. I miss you. I miss thinking about all the great things you could contain one day. but come to think of it, something happened last night at the drag king contest, I was fronting. sis was in town and her friend H wanted to boi-dyke it out, so I decided to join in on the fun. two ziplock baggies, trader joe's jasmine brown rice, and a borrowed bra under a tight black muscle shirt and I look like a lezzie on T who never lopped off her/his chest. forget drag kings, trannies have more facial hair than I do. the illusion worked. we joked that I should hit on dykes. however, I got approached by a photographer who's looking for models to explore gender. I had to confess that I was a biological fella. she's never photographed a man before. her trepidation, understandable if she's exploring boi/ftm/tranny culture, made me think my gmail account wouldn't get the email she sent. with links to her fabulous work. she wants to set up a photo shoot in September. and I feel fine about being a M to FTM. I'm comfortably male, but have experienced trans-phobia, in so much as I don't fit societal definitions of masculine. though I've never thought of myself as female. I'm just a fey, nelly boy who's more comfortable with women. depending on the scene (interviews, weddings, school, activism, concert, sporting events, work) my many male genders are all performances. costumed in a suit, in hipster duds, in a Speedo or running shorts. I even feel like I'm performing my maturity, because, surely, I'm not ready to be thirty-one.
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